Le Long Overdue Update...

Yes, dear readers, I am oh-so-aware that the last time I wrote on here was nearly TWO WEEKS AGO now!!! And that is pretty much a great example of how hectic/insane/nonstop/overwhelming my life has been for the last two weeks...

You see, between my work at Six Flags as an actor, and then my work at home as the show manager for our tour, and dealing with lawyers/coroners/police/family in Vancouver related to my aunt's recent death, and the occassional (but somewhat required) social engagement with my new "friends" here in St Louis, I have not spent a minute dealing with my own life... And I exagerrate not. I haven't had the time or energy to send any emails to my loved ones (whom I miss dearly, and have often found myself longing for the time to call upon for support), let alone actually call! To be honest, I don't even feel like I have had the time to think about checking in with myself, let alone actually doing anything for myself that might count as "self-care."

Oh yes, it has been intense. I arrived here in St Louis exactly four weeks ago today, with my 'Team St L' cohorts Agent Special K and Agent MD. Which means that yesterday was my 28th day of work with no days off. Today is my first day off. On Saturday our fourth team member, Field Agent A+, arrived and he and I performed for the first time ever (sans rehearsals) on Sunday, so that Agent Special K could have her first days off. Unfortunately, yesterday her second day off was interrupted by the fact that she had to come to the park for the afternoon and perform in my place because I was being taken to the hospital.

Yup.

You see, during the first half of our second show yesterday, I got my finger stuck in a door while performing. It was utterly surreal. Lots of blood. Lots of pain. Lots of shock. And lots of ridiculous thoughts as blood poured from my hand backstage like "I need to get back out there! Adam's performing all by himself! The show is going to be so long! Oh well, I guess I'll just explain in my show reports that I had to step off stage to deal with a first aid incident for a few moments!" Needless to say, it was a pretty strange day for me yesterday. Which included my first ever trip to an american hospital, which was about as slow moving as Canadian emergency rooms are (I think we spent about 3 hours there in total). One of my new Six Flags friends (who was working and thankfully got paid for this whole ordeal) drove me to the hospital yesterday afternoon, but on the way we got rear-ended on the highway by a semi truck. Not kidding. So that slowed us down a little. Thankfully we are both okay, and it looks like Evan's truck will also be okay.

But you know what? I think I might still be in shock... Or at least still recovering from the events of the last four weeks of my life... So I suddennly feel like I don't have anything more to write on this here blog... For now.

Tomorrow I have another day off, so I will probably write another update then. But for now, I think I might attempt some long overdue self-care...

Until next time, this is your Triple M:

signing off and sending much love and gratitude out in to the universe...
take what you need!
XOX

Too Much of a "Good Thing?"

A wise person once said "there's no such thing as 'too much' of a good thing," didn't he? Or was that The Fool? Maybe it was the wise one who said "everything in moderation"... Hmmm, maybe I ought to look in to that...

Because let me tell you, lately, it seems like my life has been a little "all or nothing", or maybe it's been "go big or go home!" In any case, hopefully you get the picture (and in case you don't, I am attaching ample pictures here to help you understand!) You see, living here in the land of 'a lot' (as in, whatever they have or do here, they have and do A LOT of it!) seems to have really seeped in to my already naturally enthusiastic system, and maybe (just maybe) I have been found to go overboard, but just every now and then...

Take last night for example; It was yet another fabulous social event planned for the Six Flags Entertainment Department - a movie night! And how harmless does that sound? Very harmless, no? Well, that was until they broke out THE SNACKS!!! You see, on a regular basis, my partner in crime, Agent Special K, and I usually eat remarkably healthy - so remarkable that people often remark about how healthy we eat and act and look! Well, I'm not sure what happened, I'm going to plead temporary insanity here, but at some point after my first sip of Sparkling Vanilla Cream Soda(!!!) and about mid-way through the movie that we were watching (Batman Begins, which I hadn't seen before but L-O-V-E-D!!!), Special K and I found ourselves camped out in the lobby unable to tear ourselves away from our new friends: Cheetos, Tostidos, Airheads, Chocolate, "Puppy Mix" and.... well, the list goes on...

And here I am, in action:

And then after the movie, pre-Sugar Coma, those generous americans were giving away the leftovers - HOW THRILLING!!!

We can't seem to stop...

Once we got safely back to the car, Agent Special K and I compared our treasures before the drive home (which we did with windows rolled down and Britney blasting from the car stereo, of course. What else do you listen to when you're on a sugar high?!?):

Yes, that is candy spilling out of my purse, and yes that is fake cheese dust all over K's hands...
Oh, thank goodness I have that little Agent Special K - cause you know what they say;

Gluttony loves company!

Alas, this was not the first time that Special K and I went just a teensy bit overboard in the company of our new american friends... I'm afraid we might (just maybe) be starting to build up a false impression of what "Canades" are really like. Don't worry though, it's a really fun impression! Albeit, not always the most controlled.

You see, last Thursday night, K and I went across the street to the apartments where some of the other out-of-town entertainment staff are living, for a little partay... Unfortunately, this party found me at the end of a rather stressful day, during which I probably didn't eat enough, and also probably also at the end of which I shouldn't have chosen to "party my stress off" with alcohol... Oops.

But for the most part it was pure fun times, and good bonding times with our new friends. But you know how it goes; "It's all fun and games 'til someone bruises an eye..."

Me, The Morning After "The Fun":

Oh yes, it was a rough day that 'day after.' Here I am trying to get dressed outside of the car, before we actually head in to the park for our work day... Oh my...
My only saving grace this day was a True 'Act of God' - a tornado warning that had the park close early and saved me from having to do our last two shows that day!!! Thank Heaven!!!

And here I am, about 48 hours after "The Fun":

After Four Days:

And Today:

So alright, I get it, it's probable that I need to reign in the enthusiasm (or at the very least the consumption of sanity-altering substances like alcohol and sugar!) But I am working really hard every day (and still loving every minute of it!)

And in the end, fear not my dear readers, I always Batman to watch over me...

In "reality" the picture above is me and Kat with one (our favorite?) of FOUR Six Flags Batmans, all of whom share a break room adjacent to ours (meaning: we spend a lot of time together!)

But hey, a girl can never have too many Batmans, right?!?

Lucky, Safe, Rediscovering and Growing!

So, in addition to my wild and wacky job of being a children's performer and show manager here in St Louis this summer, I am also endeavoring to undertake some "self-improvement/personal growth" sort of initiatives. Obviously, this experience alone, of living and working with the same people in a new and unfamilar place far from home, will be a learning experience in and of itself. And of course, I am trying to learn as much as I can from this experience... I find myself constantly evaluating my responses/reactions to various situations, attempting to practice calmness and find balance at every possible turn, and simply be the very best person that I can be.

This all may sound kind of cheesy to some of you, but that's fine with me. It might also sound kind of obvious to some. But I find that the key to growth is awareness, and there's so very much going on around me at work, at "home" and inside of my own head and heart these days, I really need to work at being aware of every little thing.

I have also decided to undertake the 12 week, self-guided "Artist's Way" program (for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about here, "The Artist's Way" is a book by Julia Cameron that walks you through a 12 week program designed to help you discover/rediscover your creative self.) I must give full credit for this inspiration to my lovely little companion, Special K, who just finished the 12 week program and brought the book to St Louis and is letting me use it too. I actually own my own copy of The Artist's Way, and have endeavored to start this program a few times in the past. But this time, I think I am really going to stick with it! The foundation of the program is "the morning pages" (three free-for-all write-without-stopping pages of writing that you are supposed to do every morning), a weekly "artist date" (where you take yourself / your inner artist on an outing, whether it's to sit in a cafe and write, see a play, look at an art exhibit or go for a walk taking pictures, etc) and then the weekly writing/reflection tasks set out by the book.

I have just finished Week One: Rediscovering a Sense of Safety which is all about starting to feel safe enough to be creative again. Two of the tasks for this week were to "time travel" and go through your entire life in 5 year chunks of time and identify both the "enemies" and the "champions" of your creative self-worth. So I went through my life in five year chunks a few days ago and did the "enemy" inventory, which was, as I expected, somewhat painful. Because I realised actually that I really couldn't identify many "enemies of my creative self-worth" at all until I got to the '15-20' age range of my life... And even then, the only "enemies" that I could identify were mostly things like "the consuming nature of my family's problems..."

In a way though, this 'enemy' exercise was also totally liberating, because I felt that if all I have to contend with in terms of healing my sense of safety in being creative is a measly five years worth of shitty life experiences, I can totally handle that!

What was surprisingly more upsetting was the exercise I did this morning of 'time travelling' in five year chunks and identifying "the champions" of my creative self-worth... As I did this and found myself writing and writing for pages, tears kept welling up in my eyes as I recalled the early support and encouragement of my mother who registered me in every dance, gymnastics and art class available... And my grandmother who encouraged me with her smiles and applause as I staged one-woman shows for her and my grandfather in their living room, and sang concerts for her from atop a step ladder I would place in her kitchen as she prepared dinner... Even though these are all really happy and lovely and fond memories, they are just that: memories. And they inevitably come with a deep sense of loss because not only are those days long gone, so are those women.

But I was a lucky girl. I still very much am. I found myself thinking this morning about how fortunate I am to have been so consistently loved, supported and encouraged throughout my life so far... by inspiring mentors, teachers, directors and amazingly supportive and loving and encouraging friends, family and 'romantic partners'...

Yup, I'm a lucky and thankful girl. Very.

Love to all of you,
XOXOXOX!

"Now I've Had, The Time Of My Life..."

If this blog entry could have a soundtrack, it would begin with Queen's "We are the Champions", which Agent Special K used this morning in the car as the background music for her "Morning Report" (something that has become a daily tradition as a result of Special K's daily reconaissance missions down to our complex's "clubhouse" (read: office) and gym.)

The middle songs on this entry's soundtrack would simply be filled with american top 40 pop songs, as per the Six Flags Parks and Mad Science Productions' playlists. This manic music would nicely underscore the tales of my somewhat fiasco-filled day yesterday of tending to small work-related fires (thank goodness not literal fires!) But yes, oh yes, it was a day yesterday. But I must say, our theme music for the day really held true: my all-star team and I, we really are The Champions. And I am super proud of us.

So we wrapped up a nice full day of work and left the park by about 7/7:30pm or so. But we had been invited to the Entertainment Department BBQ that night that started anytime after 8:30, so we had some time to kill. Being the ever exciting Canades that we are, we filled this time by going to the county library and signing up for a library card, fulfilling Agent Special K's need to have her picture taken at a White Castle fast food restaurant (as vegetarians, of course we didn't actually eat anything from there, we just took our pictures and went on our merry way!), oh and we stopped by Wal-Mart so that I could buy batteries for my camera. Which I forgot to do because I got distracted by the $3 WINE!!! Check it out:

Quote of the Day from Agent Special K:

"From now on we're getting all our wine from Wal-Mart!"

But even after all of those scintillating time-killing activities, we still somehow managed to arrive in the general area of our destination, the BBQ, a little early. I desperately did not want to be the lame Canades who showed up first to the party. So thank goodness I have the brilliant little Agent Special K as my right-hand woman to come up with the most brilliant time-killing plan of all time: "Park over there in that gravelly patch beneath those billboards, facing away from the highway, and we'll open up the back of the car and have a mini tailgate party"

And so, we did:

We parked the car, popped open the back, popped open a few drinks (with the help of Special Agent MD's handy screwdriver in the absence of a bottle opener) and cranked the car stereo. The soundtrack? "The Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing, of course!
As the designated driver for the evening, I really only took a little sip or two for show...

But once "The Time of My Life" was playing, Special K and I simply had to break out our dance moves... Yes, yes we did dance outside, next to the highway, with the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing playing from our car. And Special Agent MD captured the whole 4 minutes on video too. Too bad I don't have the technical know-how to post that here for y'all to relish and enjoy. Just trust me, it was greatness. We even worked in a few solid jetes and coordinated leaps. Fabulous.

Once the song, the dancing and the first two drinks were complete, I felt that we had killed a sufficient amount of time. So we hopped back in to the car, put on our signature Britney song and prepared to roll up to the partay. Sadly, there was no one waiting outside to see just how cool we are, but we had plenty of time to display our coolness throughout the course of the night. Which can only really be described as fun, Fun, FuN, FUN!!! In short, the time of our lives. We got to meet and get to know more of our fellow Six Flags entertainers, and for the most part, we just ADORE 'em!

The only sad part of the evening was after about a 30 minute build up to the prospect of eating an original St Louis delicacy: Toasted Ravioli, K & I realised that we couldn't eat it, because we are vegetarians and it is filled with BEEF!

Sad Faces about no T-Ravs for us,

with our new lovely friend Jon:

But really, I think the highlight of my night must have been when we got home around 1am and I had to stay up writing and emailing show reports while my cohorts got to go to bed. Oh wait, that wasn't fun at all! Ah well, such is the life of the show manager. And I'll say it again:

I wouldn't trade any of this for the world!

Work, Play & The Spices of Life

It's 8:17am on Sunday morning. Today is 'Day Two' (of I don't know, maybe 85 or 90 days total) of performances. We performed our first show on Friday evening, then went out to celebrate at another premiere: the Sex and the City movie. Yesterday was our first full day of (4) shows, plus a daily parade that we participate in, and the ironing out of various tech issues... I'm tired, and it's only just begun! I get to do this every day for the next 22 days or so, until our third actor, Adam, arrives to begin rotating the show with us. Then I might have a day or two off. Of course, I'm never really 'off-duty' from my responsibilities as Show Manager. *sigh*

All that being said, I am LOVING this. So, so, sooooo much! Joy and excitement bubbles up in my tummy each time we are about to begin a show. I love being on stage. I love working hard. I love the kids. I love my fellow cast and crew. I love the Six Flags Entertainment staff. I love that THIS is my job. This is what I do.

But it's a lot. And it's my first time. There have been so many 'first times' lately, I'm trying to remain really mindful of them all, each time they occur, because it's only ever the first time once. I'm also trying to remain mindful of the very much 'first time nature' of this adventure in an effort to be gentle with myself; The most challenging thing for me is to be in the same boat as my cast/crew members (with whom I also travel and live with) in terms of never having done a show for this company, never having been to St Louis, never having, well, done any of this before, all the while having to act as their "leader" and show manager. But I'm managing. Add to my basket of Meghan-specific challenges at this time is the fact that my brother and I are dealing with the recent death of our aunt in Vancouver - a complicated task given that he is there and I am here, and there are many less-than-pleasant details that we must attend to. And again, *sigh*

But I am okay. Just like my horoscope said, my life these days is kind of like plowing through heavy, murky waters aboard a sometimes claustrophic, brightly lit, high-tech vessel where a non-stop party is being thrown by slightly chaotic connoisseurs of fun. For real.

Yup, that's pretty much my life right now.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world.