Ugh, I hate this. I hate moving! Or rather, I hate the sorting, packing and living amidst the chaos of half-packed boxes that goes hand-in-hand with moving. I'm also starting to really resent my job because it's really hard to pleasantly work in a quiet little bookstore while you know that you could be being way more productive at home, actually doing something!
Okay, so I'm writing on my blog right now and not actually "doing" anything. Point taken. But, I've been up for hours - doing the usual, sorting, packing, preparing for another day of moving preparations. Today, Devon will spend the day with me. In a few minutes I will head out the door to pick up a cargo van that I've rented for a few hours from Autoshare (Yay Autoshare!) so that I can bring the couch that I am giving to Thea and her roomates to their place. I will pick up the van, then Thea, then we will meet Devon at my place, move the couch together to Thea's place and then Devon and I will spend the rest of the day doing (at least some of) the following:
- getting more boxes
- dropping off some of the many garbage bags of stuff to give away that I have already assembled
- sorting more
- packing more
And, let's be honest, whining more (that would be me whining, and Devon listening sympathetically, I hope!)
But first, dear readers, I thought I would share this little list with you... What follows is a list of what I found to be a rather entertaining representation of me, over the last year...
WHAT I FOUND ON MY NIGHTSTAND, OR THE FLOOR, NEXT TO MY BED:
The Following Books:
- "One Year Off" (The true story, told through emails, of a family with three kids who sold all their stuff, and took one year off from life to travel the world. I read about 3/4)
- "The Book of Laughter And Forgetting" by Milan Kundera (I read it, but it didn't make it back to my book shelf, apparently)
- "Hey Nostradamus" by Douglas Coupland (Also read the whole thing)
- "Watership Down" by Richard Adams (I'm almost finished it, but I keep putting it down to read other books!)
- "what matters most is how well you walk through the fire" a book of poems by Charles Bukowski
- "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron
- "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire (An AWESOME novel, for adults, the hit Broadway musical was based on this book - sooooo fantastic. My latest read. The best christmas gift I got this year. From my friend Mark)
- "The Organic Entrepreneur" by Maxine Hyndman (I'm workin' on this one...)
- "From Option to Opening: A Guide to Producing Plays Off Broadway" (Awwww, I sure meant well with this one...)
- "Best of Best Women's Erotica" (A great Xmas gift from year's past from Devon - The inscription read that if the city was my boyfriend, I needed some company at night in my own room. Heck yeah!)
- "The Places That Scare You" by Pema Chodron (Also a great book. I revisit it often)
- "Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking" (No Comment)
- "The History of Vegas" short stories by Jodi Angel (Some depressing short stories. I think I stopped reading them)
- "The Beautifully Worthless" by Ali Liebegott (Some depressing poetry. I think I also stoppped reading this)
- "Between Myself & Them" Edited by Carol Krause (A great collection of writing about disability & difference, featuring an essay by my good friend Thea)
- "The Same Woman" by Thea Lim (One of THE BEST novels written by a young canadian woman... in my biased opinion)
- "Selected Poems y e.e. cummings" (I like cummings, and Bukowski. It's good to keep 'em nearby, I think)
- "Moral Disorder" by Margaret Atwood (I liked it)
- "Girls Speak Out - A Personal Guide to Self-Esteem" (A thoughtful gift from Tracey last summer, inspired I think by my ideas about creating some new workshops for teens... A good reference)
- "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie (I borrowed this long ago from Mark, but I don't really feel like giving it back. I like keeping it close by, as a handy inspirational tool)
AND... In addition to all those books, I also have:
- My "Soul-O Theatre Workshop (Creating Your Own One Person Show)" Workbook
- my hand-held recording device
- THREE journals (not including my dream journal)
- kleenex
- 1 pen
- 1 pencil
- earplugs
- "Heat Rub" for sore muscles
- aromatherapy spray to help me sleep (doesn't really work)
I swear, it didn't look like that much!
I think this list is very representative of me... But maybe I need to think about clearing the space around my bed, and maybe I will free myself up to actually SLEEP more when in my bed... ???
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Procrastination Stops Here
The time has come for the procrastination to stop. Holly is on her way here from Oakville and she will spend the day with me, helping me to finally pack! I tried to get a head start on one area this morning but chose the wrong pile. I came across a stack of things from last winter and my tour with Tracey, which made me feel incredibly nostalgic and sad. And then I came across some stuff from the memorial for my friend Emily, who died last February.
I can't do this, I thought to myself. I just cannot face the last two years of my life right now! Feeling incredibly nostalgic, and completely weepy about departing my lovely (in some ways) home for the last two years, I decided it was time to document the process. So I whipped out my handy-dandy digital camera.
Over the last few days, I have started, little by little to begin the "sorting" and "box accumulation" part of the moving & packing process. So the photos you are about to see are NOT exactly what my apartment has looked like over the last two years, but it's close enough. I felt the need to take photographic evidence now (before the real dissassembly begins) of the living space, and life, that I created for myself over the last two years. And so...
For my first year here I had this silly little table with stools as my kitchen table, then I folded the table into the wall and Guntar lent me a lovely couch that I placed here so that I could spend more relaxing and social time in the above-ground part of my place. (I returned it to him last week so as to discourage too much relaxing procrastination):
The kitchen area of my place...
And, though the view right now (in the dead of winter) isn't so picturesque, this was my favorite spot in my whole place for the years that I lived here; Standing at my kitchen sink, looking out at my backyard:
More kitchen; I loved my fridge decor...
The view from standing inside my wee "walk-in closet":
And now, looking back towards my wee "walk-in closet" (in the far right corner):
And now, it's time to get some boxes checked off this list:
I can't do this, I thought to myself. I just cannot face the last two years of my life right now! Feeling incredibly nostalgic, and completely weepy about departing my lovely (in some ways) home for the last two years, I decided it was time to document the process. So I whipped out my handy-dandy digital camera.
Over the last few days, I have started, little by little to begin the "sorting" and "box accumulation" part of the moving & packing process. So the photos you are about to see are NOT exactly what my apartment has looked like over the last two years, but it's close enough. I felt the need to take photographic evidence now (before the real dissassembly begins) of the living space, and life, that I created for myself over the last two years. And so...
Here is the view from my door to the outside world, looking in to my apt:
For my first year here I had this silly little table with stools as my kitchen table, then I folded the table into the wall and Guntar lent me a lovely couch that I placed here so that I could spend more relaxing and social time in the above-ground part of my place. (I returned it to him last week so as to discourage too much relaxing procrastination):
The kitchen area of my place...
And, though the view right now (in the dead of winter) isn't so picturesque, this was my favorite spot in my whole place for the years that I lived here; Standing at my kitchen sink, looking out at my backyard:
More kitchen; I loved my fridge decor...
And now, The Basement Living Space...
The view from standing inside my wee "walk-in closet":
And now, looking back towards my wee "walk-in closet" (in the far right corner):
And now, it's time to get some boxes checked off this list:
Friday, January 18, 2008
Procrastination Central
Oh my gosh - I am ACTUALLY writing here simply to procrastinate from packing. Seriously. I am fully aware that I am now doing ANYTHING to avoid dealing with the task of sorting through and packing up my stuff. I actually feel a little bit like I am going to have a full-on anxiety attack...
I am about to make soup. From scratch.
And then I will probably check my emails,
and my Facebook,
and then I might make a couple of overdue long-distance calls,
and I have committed to visiting my friend Cheryl later tonight (also something that is long, long, LONG overdue!)...
So, I'm probably not actually going to get much of any actually packing/organising done today.
Oh well. There's always tomorrow, right?
I am about to make soup. From scratch.
And then I will probably check my emails,
and my Facebook,
and then I might make a couple of overdue long-distance calls,
and I have committed to visiting my friend Cheryl later tonight (also something that is long, long, LONG overdue!)...
So, I'm probably not actually going to get much of any actually packing/organising done today.
Oh well. There's always tomorrow, right?
Friday, January 11, 2008
New Year, New Neighbourhood, New Boyfriend...
So Robin and I had a great day yesterday, a great day.
In the later part of the morning we trekked out to The Junction so that I could show Robin my new home. We met up with 2/3rds of my new roomates, Laura & Henry, who joined us for a trip to the best place to get hot choclate in Toronto (I swear) and a field trip to our new house. Robin really liked it, and I seem to get more and more excited each time I visit it. (So excited apparently that it didn't occur to me to take any pictures of the place. Sorry my dear readers!) Henry and I had a fun time jumping up and down in my empty new bedroom as I exclaimed over and over "We're in my new room! We're in my new room!" I think he and I are going to have a great friendship. I made a comment to Laura though that I pity her, because both Henry and I are very talkative and our voices seem to be able to rech screechingly high octaves when we are excited.
After Robin and I enjoyed a yummy japanese lunch in the west end, we headed back downtown to the CBC. Robin had the brilliant idea for us to go and watch a taping of George Strombolopolous' show The Hour - which is quite brilliant itself. It was a glorious afternoon, but then isn't falling in love always glorious??? Indeed.
And The George (as I like to fondly refer to him) is just so lovely. And although of course I had to play it kind of cool (don't you always have to play it cool at the start of things?), I'm pretty sure that he's into me as well. Conveniently I have Thursdays off, so I can visit his show tapings once a week! Stay tuned my dear readers, this is surely the beginning of a great new relationship...
Alas, I don't think this is the most flattering picture of me, and right before this picture was taken Robin stole George's attention from me by mentioning that her mother is a big fan of his, but it will forever be our first picture together.
So for now my dear readers, feel free to learn more about my new BF by checking out his website: www.strombo.com (feel free to use the link on the righthand side of this blog-->), and until I write again...
*NAMASTE*
In the later part of the morning we trekked out to The Junction so that I could show Robin my new home. We met up with 2/3rds of my new roomates, Laura & Henry, who joined us for a trip to the best place to get hot choclate in Toronto (I swear) and a field trip to our new house. Robin really liked it, and I seem to get more and more excited each time I visit it. (So excited apparently that it didn't occur to me to take any pictures of the place. Sorry my dear readers!) Henry and I had a fun time jumping up and down in my empty new bedroom as I exclaimed over and over "We're in my new room! We're in my new room!" I think he and I are going to have a great friendship. I made a comment to Laura though that I pity her, because both Henry and I are very talkative and our voices seem to be able to rech screechingly high octaves when we are excited.
Below: Robin, Henry & Laura walking down my new street
After Robin and I enjoyed a yummy japanese lunch in the west end, we headed back downtown to the CBC. Robin had the brilliant idea for us to go and watch a taping of George Strombolopolous' show The Hour - which is quite brilliant itself. It was a glorious afternoon, but then isn't falling in love always glorious??? Indeed.
And The George (as I like to fondly refer to him) is just so lovely. And although of course I had to play it kind of cool (don't you always have to play it cool at the start of things?), I'm pretty sure that he's into me as well. Conveniently I have Thursdays off, so I can visit his show tapings once a week! Stay tuned my dear readers, this is surely the beginning of a great new relationship...
The George, chatting with his audience. He's so friendly and down-to-earth. Truly.
And Below: Me & Rob, post-show with The George
Alas, I don't think this is the most flattering picture of me, and right before this picture was taken Robin stole George's attention from me by mentioning that her mother is a big fan of his, but it will forever be our first picture together.
So for now my dear readers, feel free to learn more about my new BF by checking out his website: www.strombo.com (feel free to use the link on the righthand side of this blog-->), and until I write again...
*NAMASTE*
Thursday, January 10, 2008
An Attitude of Grattitude
It is 6:05am and I am still nestled cozily in my bed as I write this... It's been lovely the last few days because my body seems to have finally accepted my conscious desire to return to my once natural habit of waking up early. And by that I mean that when my alarm clock goes off at 5:47am my instinct is not to leap from my bed barely conscious, hit the snooze button and then immediatelty collapse back into unconsiousness. No, this morning especially, I hit the snooze button to silence the beeping but then I lay in bed vey much awake and conscious, my mind racing somewhat with thoughts of the days both ahead of and behind me.
In a few hours I will meet up with Robin (who has been in Oakville with her parents for the last week and) who will be taking the go-train in this morning with her dad so that she and I can spend the day hangin' out in Toronto together before we meet her guy, Ethan, at the train station tonight and then all head back out to Oaky-ville together. Ethan is coming from their home in Burlington, Vermont to join us all for the weekend partly because there is a wedding reception that we are all going to attend on Saturday afternoon. A guy that Robin and I went to school with, whose family is longtime friends with Robin's family, got married in Vancouver this Fall, but his bride's family is from T.O. so they are having a reception here this Saturday.
Anyhow, I'm looking forward to the day ahead with Robin. I made a mental note to remember to use my lovely digital camera that her parents gave me a few months ago and take lots of pictures of us hanging out. And that thought got me thinking about how thankful I am...
Thankful to have that camera, because taking pictures really reminds me of and makes me feel connected to my grandma, who was taken from my life so suddenly and brutally eight years ago this month. It's hard to believe that eight years have passed since then...
I am also so thankful to have Robin and her parents in my life... I am thankful for all that they have done for me in the past, to support me and ensure my safety and success in life, but I am especially thankful for the way that my relationship with both Robin and her parents has grown and evolved; I am thankful for the deeper and more mature love, friendship and sense of family that we now share...
And as I lay in bed thinking about how grateful I am for my relationships with Robin and her family, I got to thinking about other relationships that I am thankful for...
I spent a lovely evening last night with my friend Devon, and I found myself thinking about how thankful I am for our friendship. How great it is to sit across from her, listening and speak ing so honestly and easily for hours upon hours! I am so thankful for the mutally loving, wise and supportive relationship that we have...
And speaking of (or rather, thinking of) mutually loving, wise and supportive relationships that have deepened and matured over the years... My mind then wandered to thoughts of my friend Mark, whose birthday it is this friday and with whom I had the pleasure of once again having a home-cooked (yes, he's still on the cooking kick) meal with on Monday evening. Of course I am thankful that he likes to invite me over while he experiments with new and delicious recipes, but I am especially thankful for the quality time that these get-togethers afford us; I sit on the stool at his kitchen counter, occassionally making myself useful by chopping something, and we chat as he prepares dinner, the eating of which is naturally conduscive to even more chatting. I love it.
And now, after recording all of those thoughts of gratitude that came to me as I lay in the darkness this morning, I should probably sign off and get myself up and about and ready to start my day...
So my dear readers, at whatever point during whatever day that you end up reading this, I challenge you to think of some thing(s) or people that you are thankful for.... And feel free to share your thoughts of gratitude with me via a comment here!
*NAMASTE*
In a few hours I will meet up with Robin (who has been in Oakville with her parents for the last week and) who will be taking the go-train in this morning with her dad so that she and I can spend the day hangin' out in Toronto together before we meet her guy, Ethan, at the train station tonight and then all head back out to Oaky-ville together. Ethan is coming from their home in Burlington, Vermont to join us all for the weekend partly because there is a wedding reception that we are all going to attend on Saturday afternoon. A guy that Robin and I went to school with, whose family is longtime friends with Robin's family, got married in Vancouver this Fall, but his bride's family is from T.O. so they are having a reception here this Saturday.
Anyhow, I'm looking forward to the day ahead with Robin. I made a mental note to remember to use my lovely digital camera that her parents gave me a few months ago and take lots of pictures of us hanging out. And that thought got me thinking about how thankful I am...
Thankful to have that camera, because taking pictures really reminds me of and makes me feel connected to my grandma, who was taken from my life so suddenly and brutally eight years ago this month. It's hard to believe that eight years have passed since then...
I am also so thankful to have Robin and her parents in my life... I am thankful for all that they have done for me in the past, to support me and ensure my safety and success in life, but I am especially thankful for the way that my relationship with both Robin and her parents has grown and evolved; I am thankful for the deeper and more mature love, friendship and sense of family that we now share...
And as I lay in bed thinking about how grateful I am for my relationships with Robin and her family, I got to thinking about other relationships that I am thankful for...
I spent a lovely evening last night with my friend Devon, and I found myself thinking about how thankful I am for our friendship. How great it is to sit across from her, listening and speak ing so honestly and easily for hours upon hours! I am so thankful for the mutally loving, wise and supportive relationship that we have...
And speaking of (or rather, thinking of) mutually loving, wise and supportive relationships that have deepened and matured over the years... My mind then wandered to thoughts of my friend Mark, whose birthday it is this friday and with whom I had the pleasure of once again having a home-cooked (yes, he's still on the cooking kick) meal with on Monday evening. Of course I am thankful that he likes to invite me over while he experiments with new and delicious recipes, but I am especially thankful for the quality time that these get-togethers afford us; I sit on the stool at his kitchen counter, occassionally making myself useful by chopping something, and we chat as he prepares dinner, the eating of which is naturally conduscive to even more chatting. I love it.
And now, after recording all of those thoughts of gratitude that came to me as I lay in the darkness this morning, I should probably sign off and get myself up and about and ready to start my day...
So my dear readers, at whatever point during whatever day that you end up reading this, I challenge you to think of some thing(s) or people that you are thankful for.... And feel free to share your thoughts of gratitude with me via a comment here!
*NAMASTE*
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
New Year, "New You"?
First, a confession: I am actually writing this entry from my work computer... which raises a lot of questions inside my head about whether that is a good idea... But I got here really early this morning and the store isn't open right now, so it's not like I'm slacking off or anything...
Anyways, I'm actually feeling really energized and positive about the new year, so I just thought I would take the time to post a little "Happy New Year" sort of message, and make note of how I am feeling at this time...
I'm excited. I will be moving at the end of this month (into the lovely house in The Junction neighbourhood that my friends Laura & Louis just bought). I spent most of the afternoon into the evening this past Saturday visiting with Laura & Louis (and their 14 month old, Henry!) after finally seeing the new place and it all felt really good. I am excited about having a new living space, new living arrangement, new neighbourhood and community. It feels good. (Now all I have to do is get my act together this month and sort through and pack all the STUFF I've accumulated after pretty much living alone for the last 4-5 years!)
At the moment I'm also feeling energized - probably because I got up early and went swimming before I came to work today! I'm really dedicated to making a real effort to regain the element of physical activity in my life that seems to have slipped away over the last few months. One of my very specific 'New Years Goals' is to resume my daily morning yoga practice (which I have maintained for months at a time, intermittently throughout the years.)
My other, uber-specific 'New Years Goal' is to feel better about my dear relationships (in particular those with friends & family who live not-so-close) by mailing things more; My goal is to send one card or letter each week (or if I start to feel that is too much, I may scale back to one piece of mail every other week.) I'm feeling particularly good about this goal because I think it will help me to feel connected to the oh-so-many people in my life that I have let drift away a little, and I think people will be happy to receive my notes - I mean, who doesn't love getting actual mail that isn't a bill or an advertisement?!?!
On that note, to any friends or family reading this, if you would like to nominate yourself as a future recipient of mail from me send me your mailing address (you might want to send me an email or a Facebook message as opposed to posting a comment here, unless of course you want to broadcast your address for all the world to see on the internet!) I'm really looking forward to this endeavor.
And finally, I shall sign off with the three words that make up my ultimate 'New Years Goal', which is to examine each of these words/concepts throughout the year, to discover what they mean to me right now and how they represent my goals for myself this year:
Truth
Balance
Community
And so, until the next time your eyes meet my words on the screen,
Happy New Year! I wish you, and the world we live in, peace and joy in abundance!
*NAMASTE*
Anyways, I'm actually feeling really energized and positive about the new year, so I just thought I would take the time to post a little "Happy New Year" sort of message, and make note of how I am feeling at this time...
I'm excited. I will be moving at the end of this month (into the lovely house in The Junction neighbourhood that my friends Laura & Louis just bought). I spent most of the afternoon into the evening this past Saturday visiting with Laura & Louis (and their 14 month old, Henry!) after finally seeing the new place and it all felt really good. I am excited about having a new living space, new living arrangement, new neighbourhood and community. It feels good. (Now all I have to do is get my act together this month and sort through and pack all the STUFF I've accumulated after pretty much living alone for the last 4-5 years!)
At the moment I'm also feeling energized - probably because I got up early and went swimming before I came to work today! I'm really dedicated to making a real effort to regain the element of physical activity in my life that seems to have slipped away over the last few months. One of my very specific 'New Years Goals' is to resume my daily morning yoga practice (which I have maintained for months at a time, intermittently throughout the years.)
My other, uber-specific 'New Years Goal' is to feel better about my dear relationships (in particular those with friends & family who live not-so-close) by mailing things more; My goal is to send one card or letter each week (or if I start to feel that is too much, I may scale back to one piece of mail every other week.) I'm feeling particularly good about this goal because I think it will help me to feel connected to the oh-so-many people in my life that I have let drift away a little, and I think people will be happy to receive my notes - I mean, who doesn't love getting actual mail that isn't a bill or an advertisement?!?!
On that note, to any friends or family reading this, if you would like to nominate yourself as a future recipient of mail from me send me your mailing address (you might want to send me an email or a Facebook message as opposed to posting a comment here, unless of course you want to broadcast your address for all the world to see on the internet!) I'm really looking forward to this endeavor.
And finally, I shall sign off with the three words that make up my ultimate 'New Years Goal', which is to examine each of these words/concepts throughout the year, to discover what they mean to me right now and how they represent my goals for myself this year:
Truth
Balance
Community
And so, until the next time your eyes meet my words on the screen,
Happy New Year! I wish you, and the world we live in, peace and joy in abundance!
*NAMASTE*
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