One Week In

So here's the thing about being on tour - well, this tour at least: there's NO time to do anything besides ride in the truck, eat, sleep, un-load the set in to the current venue, perform at the current venue or load the set out of the current venue. Yes, that's really pretty much all I do.

Thankfully, I am in very good company. Yes, I love my tour-mates - Bryan and Dave - I think we are all so very lucky to be with each other on this tour. We work hard and well together, we have faced (many) challenges with determination and optimism, and we've enjoyed some good chats and very good laughs together while riding for hours in our truck as well! Here we are, a week ago today, setting out on the road together for the first time from South Carolina:

TEXAS HERE WE COME!!!

But not without a few delays first... You see, somewhere in Alabama our engine light came on and all of a sudden the truck wouldn't go above 40mph. Our show manager (and also my CSI co-star), Dave, called the truck company and arranged for us to take our truck in to a shop somewhere in Alabama to get looked at and hopefully fixed.

Turns out that getting our big yellow truck fixed was not gonna happen. We needed a new truck. It took the Alabama guys about an hour or so to get us our new truck, but we passed the time by unloading all of our gear, set, equipment out of the back of our first truck and in to the parking lot. And then we waited.

And if all that wasn't bad enough, the new truck was 2 ft shorter (lengthwise, and a little bit shorter heightwise) than our original - Tetris anyone? Well, we got the new truck loaded up and I think we were back on the road just after 8pm. In the end it was really only a 5 hour delay in Alabama... (I wish there was a button I could hit here to denote my sarcasm) So we drove and drove and drove, in the darkness of the night, trying to catch up for lost road time. Apparently the universe wanted us to stop driving just after midnite, because that's when we blew a tire. Yup, no joke. We pulled in to a hotel and poor Dave had to stay up until about 2am for the tow-truck driver who came and fixed it for us. And then bright and early the next morning, we were on the road again - we needed to get to Texas by that afternoon!

So we got to Texas... And I loved it there!

We performed first at a little theatre in Waco where the crew were so great and so cool and we loved them...

Then we moved on to the University of Texas in Tyler, TX and performed in a huge theatre that made us feel like rockstars...


We stayed in some nice hotels...

And even went out for dinner and mini-golf one night...


And then it was time to move on to Colorado, which is where I am now. We loaded our set in to the theatre yesterday and in about 15 minutes I will head out the door so we can go do our two shows here and then load our stuff out again. We get to stay here tonight and then it's on to Montana tomorrow. It's ridiculously gorgeous where I am here in Colorado - in the mountains just outside of Denver. I will take some more pics and hopefully write another blog entry sooner rather than later.

Anyhow, time to run out the door and go be an actor again!

For the record - I really love my life right now!










This is Sydney Mathis, CSI: Live, signing off... for now.

Suddennly On Tour Again!

Well, here I am at the Days Inn in Columbia, South Carolina. I know, right? You must be thinking 'whaaaaa ?!?' Yeah, me too sorta.

It all started a week ago yesterday - (Canadian) Thanksgiving Sunday. I got a call from my boss at the company that sent me to St Louis this summer. He was in need of an actor to replace another who was on tour and needed to return home for family reasons. It wasn't hard to say yes. I had just been thinking, not two days earlier, that I wished someone would call me and just say 'come be a performer again.' Well, be careful what you wish for...

After saying yes on the spot on Sunday morning, I found myself flying on Tuesday night to meet up with the tour who were currently performing at the South Carolina State Fair in Columbia, South Carolina.

It's been a crazy-intense week... Learning a whole new show, meeting new people, and then early this morning I said goodbye for now to my new dear friend Jen - whom I am replacing. She is off to fly home to Toronto and in less than half an hour I will be hitting the road with the boys - Dave and Bryan, my new tourmates. We have about two and a half days to get to Waco, Texas...

It's all been such a blur and I need to get out the door soon, so I'll just leave this posting at that for now... Will hopefully find the stamina to write more at the end of the day today... From another random hotel room somewhere in America...

'til then...

'Tis The Season to Turn Inwards?

Maybe it is because I am an 'autumn baby' (born at the beginning of November), or maybe it is just because I am the way that I am, but in any case I simply love Fall! I love the weather - still sunny and bright like the summer, but with a refreshing breath of cool in the mornings and evenings. The gentle easing in of the crisp relief from summer's heat somehow even makes the shortening of days bearable. Although "the holiday season" (or "christmas") is not my favorite time of year, I do not feel dread at the thought of impending winter. It will arrive, so why waste this beautiful season dreading it?

According to an email that I recently received from an astrologer acquaintance of mine, noting that (Monday) Sept 22nd was the Autumn Equinox (seasonally recognised as the first day of Autumn/Fall), "equinoxes are points in space and time representing a time of balance and intense change, and are symbolically observed as a time of rebirth." It seems fitting then that I be embarking on an inward journey at this time, and even more fitting that I have found myself revisiting the three words that made up my 'New Years Goal' (see: http://thelightbetween.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-year-new-you.html ). My words for 2008 were: Truth, Balance & Community. My goal for this year was to examine each of these words/concepts throughout the year, to discover what they mean to me on an ongoing basis and how they represent my goals for myself this year.

In some ways I could say that community was the 'easiest' concept for me to explore, but I think that had a lot to do with my personal commitment to moving out of my solitary basement living situation and in to Laura & Louis (and Henry)'s lovely house in The Junction neighbourhood at the start of this year. The notion of community is much easier to explore when you make yourself part of one. I also had the opportunity to reflect on definitions of community, and the great importance of community to me, through my three and a half month relocation to St Louis this summer. Yes, living with the same three people that you work with every day, in a two bedroom apartment, in a place that is new and unknown to you definitely forces one to think about the nuances of community via 'communal living.' Furthermore, being away, for an entire season, from the community of loved ones that you've spent 8 years cultivating also forces one to consider the importance of community.

I also feel that I carried the word balance with me throughout the last 9 months with some consistency, even (or perhaps especially) when I was not exactly living in a 'balanced' way. I think that my mere awareness of my tendencies to throw myself so fully (with a sort of 'all or nothing' type of abandon) in to work, or play, or relationships, is really at the core of my exploration of balance. I also feel that, much like nature bursts forth with life and brightness and flowers and fruits in the Spring and Summer, I too burst forth with great energy in these seasons. Thus, as the leaves and trees and plants begin to retreat as the weather cools and the days get shorter in the Fall, I too find myself slowing down and turning inward. To me, this is the ultimate exploration of balance - balancing my life not merely within the scope of a day or a week or a month, but in alignment with the seasons as they unfold over the course of an entire year!

Which brings us finally, to 'truth'. My final frontier? There is a part of me that claims not to even remember why I chose the word truth to be on this list. But then there is a deeper part of me, one without exact words or specific thoughts, that tells me that I do know, and that is what this final phase of 2008 will be about. This time right now is about moving further inward, to discover all the truths that live within me and then summoning the courage to live those truths outwardly. I'm still working on sorting out exactly what that means and how that will work, but I do feel confident that that is the task before me...

And so now I go, to continue working on the work that is my life's work these days: taking care of and doing what's best for me. Will keep ya posted on how it goes as I see fit, but until then,

Happy Autumn! Get out there (or in there) and discover the way that you choose to celebrate this beautiful season that is all about restoring our personal balance, turning inward, giving thanks, and taking in all the life-giving gifts that Spring and Summer gave us, as we prepare to hunker down and dive deep in to the depths of Winter!

NAMASTE

'Project Birthday'

Alright, so I'm home, and have been now for nearly three weeks! Though I must say, it feels like less than that. As I explained in a recent email to a friend of mine currently living in New York, I feel as though it's taken me some time to re-adjust myself to the reality of returning to my Toronto life... 'My Toronto life', which is both comfortingly familiar in appearances, but obviously subtly (and not so subtly) different below the surface. If that makes any sense to anyone.

In any case, I am back here now, and though my days are often punctuated with pangs of missing my St Louis friends and the strange but beautiful time that we shared together this summer, I am finally starting to feel a little bit more settled here in Toronto. Naturally, I have also already devised a little 'personal project' for myself... I call it 'Project Birthday'. Basically, the fundamental goal of Project Birthday is for me to take the best possible care of myself (mind, body, spirit - all of it, all together, as much as possible!) so that on my birthday, which is exactly six weeks from today, I can celebrate how great I feel about myself and my life! The birthday element just sort of happened incidentally as I was devising this whole 'self care' project for myself and started thinking about timelines. As my friend Alison concurred when we were discussing this plan of mine over the phone the other day, six weeks is indeed an optimal length for a good project!

Speaking of my dear friends who have helped me to feel great about this undertaking, I must credit the lovely Devon with helping me to devise the one and only rule of Project Birthday and that is that there are no "rules". Rather, there are simply goals, dreams, actions and foundational principles. The fundamentals of Project Birthday include trying to be conscious of what I consume and how it makes me feel; Noticing that I feel better when I eat fresh and healthy foods, and drink in moderation, and do not smoke cigarettes at all. So that's an obvious goal. Project Birthday is also very much about 'me time': Yoga as often as possible, an attempt at a daily walk to and through High Park as long as the weather permits it, and of course, a conscious effort to stay connect to my 'Artist's Way' program that I began in St Louis.

I spent some time last week with a friend of mine who reads Tarot cards and one of the main messages that my cards had for me was that "the hidden truth is only found by looking within." So with that in mind, I am going to wrap up this extroverted exercise of sharing my life via my blog and get ready to head out for my daily walk to High Park. In closing, I wish to share with you a poem by Rumi that I opened my book to last night before I went to bed, it just seems so fitting right now...

Listening

What is the deep listening? Sama is
a greeting from the secret ones inside

the heart, a letter. The branches of
your intelligence grow new leaves in

the wind of this listening. The body
reaches a peace. Rooster sound comes,

reminding you of your love for dawn.
The reed flute and the singer's lips:

the knack of how spirit breathes into
us becomes as simple and ordinary as

eating and drinking. The dead rise with
the pleasure of listening. If someone

can't hear a trumpet melody, sprinkle
dirt on his head and declare him dead.

Listen and feel the beauty of your
separation, the unsayable absence.

There's a moon inside every human being.
Learn to be companions with it. Give

more of your life to this listening. As
brightness is to time, so you are to

the one who talks to the deep ear in
your chest. I should sell my tongue

and buy a thousand ears when that
one steps near and begins to speak.

(By Rumi)

"The time has come, to talk of many things..."

Once again, I know, it's been so long since I last found the time to write and post on this here blog o' mine... Alas. It's not for lack of things to write about... No, it's certainly not that. In fact, it's probably the exact opposite.

I know, I know, it's not exactly news to hear that I am "busy" here (or wherever I seem to be!), but maybe I can make my busyness in to some form of "news" to share - I mean, isn't that what this blog is all about?

Well, I guess I'll start a few weeks back... Probably just a mere few days after my last post on here, I decided that living in the suburbs of St Louis County in a two bedroom apartment with three (albeit lovely) roomates/co-workers was driving me INSANE. So I made my great escape to the city.

Yes, that's right, for my two days off in the last week of July, I booked myself a room for a night at The Hyatt Regency Downtown St Louis Riverfront, and spent a glorious 48-hour date with myself in the city... It was definitely among the best choices I've ever made...

ABOVE: My hotel, as viewed by me at dusk on Sunday evening as I walked through the Riverfront-Archway park to take myself out to dinner in the historic 'Laclede's Landing' area...

BELOW: Sunday Morning in my hotel room; Upon being dropped off downtown by my generous co-worker/roomate Adam, SnoBear and I checked in to our hotel room and got excited about our KING-SIZED bed!!!

BELOW: The View from my hotel room. Thank goodness it was this good, because later this evening I would be stuck in my room during a black-out with nothing to watch but the thunder and lightning and storm outside my window... Well, thank goodness for this view and for the bottle of red wine that I packed!

AND BELOW: This picture (of the famous St Louis Archway) was taken by me while standing right in front of my hotel. Yes, that's what they meant when they said riverfront!

So for my first day (of my two-day long date with myself in the city), I first made my way over to a great little neighbourhood called the Central West End. Which made me think endlessly about my new friend Jon, because he was the one who told me about this area in the first place. I eventually found myself at the St Louis Cathedral Basilica, where I spent at least an hour or so... You see, I've never really been a religious person, but I absolutely love churches and sacred spaces, I just sort of lose myself in their beauty and safety... Or rather, maybe I find myself...

After my visit at the beautiful Cathedral Basilica, I made the long, hot and sweaty(!) trek through the nearby Forest Park (bigger than NYC's Central Park) to the public Art Museum. Granted, walking for 45 minutes at the hottest time of the day in late July in St Louis might not have been my best plan... When I arrived at the art museum, I went to the public restrooms because I was so hot and sweaty that I had to go in to a stall and I actually took my dress off and literally wrang the sweat out of it. I looked as though I had been dumped with a bucket of water! (I only wish it had've been water - I was sooooo hot!!!)

Anyhow, I spent some time with an incredible exhibit of photographs by Gordon Parks... With the help of good ol' Wikipedia, I will tell you that "Gordon Parks (November 30, 1912 – March 7, 2006) was a groundbreaking American photographer, musician, poet, novelist, journalist, activist and film director. He is best remembered for his photo essays for Life magazine and as the director of the 1971 film Shaft." Basically the exhibit was totally inspiring and reminded me how much I love photographs and people's stories.

After the Art Museum in Forest Park I made my way back downtown to my hotel, but just a mere few blocks away from my hotel I heard something... A protest or rally maybe? I followed the sound and it turned out to be a sort of 'Block Party' sponsored by one of my favorite St Louis radio stations (The Beat 100.3 fm) showcasing young talent in a 'youth against violence' sort of effort. How apropos for me to end up there, hey?!?

So, after spending some time listening to the young MC's do their thang, I ravenously made my way back to my hotel room where I showered (okay and had a glass of red wine and called my best friend Devon in Toronto for a quick chat) and then made my way to take myself out to dinner in the historic 'Laclede's Landing' area. The walk to the landing was lovely; It was sunset and I walked through the park below the archway. Then I sat on a patio in the historic, cobblestoned Landing neighbourhood (think like 'Gastown' in Vancouver) and treated myself to a lovely meal. I walked home (okay, yes it was dark and I walked home alone through the park, but I'm fine so what of it?!) and just as I returned to my hotel room, the power went out in my hotel! So I had no choice but to sit by my window and watch the thunder and lightning while sipping my red wine and doing pretty much nothing... I think it was a blessing sent from The Universe!

The next day I had to check out of my hotel around 11am, so I did but I was able to leave my bag in the custody of the concierge for the day because Adam wouldn't be picking me up until 9pm that night, after my crew returned home from work. I made my way to my favorite place in St Louis - The Missouri Botanical Gardens! I spent a lovely few hours there before heading to 'The Loop' (a hip sort of neighbourhood) where I caught a matinee of the movie 'The Wackness', which I loved.

My '48-hour date-with-myself' ended with me making my way back to my hotel to collect my bag and to wait for Adam to collect me. Then I took him out for pizza as a thankyou for driving me in and out of downtown and enabling this oh-so-important date with myself to happen!

As I write all of this, I am actually on another sort of 'date-with-myself'... The aforementioned date happened during the last weekend in July, I think, and was followed with what feels like a real whirlwind of our last few weeks of full-time performing in August. And now we are just doing weekend shows. We had the weekdays off last week and this week. So this week I decided to treat myself to a four day 'date-with-myself' in New York City! Okay, it's really just four days in NYC because I have been spending quite a bit of time socialising with others while I am here.

Tomorrow, Friday, I will fly "home" to St Louis for our last three days of shows, then it will be time to pack up and head back to Toronto. This time next week I will have been home (at my real, Toronto home) for two nights already! Oh my! It's all happening so fast, I can hardly see the trees for the whirlwind, or, uh... whatever! My life is a whirlwind. But next week when I am back in Toronto I think that I will have some time and I will do some more long-overdue writing and reflecting and picture posting on this here blog of mine!

But for now, this will have to do!