Here, Now.

Yes, I am aware that my "summer hiatus" went on for quite some time. AND it was extended in to the Fall. Well, so it goes.

I must admit that I have been thinking about and wanting to start blogging again for quite some time now, but I have been dwelling on how to start again. I have been searching for, and drafting in my head, a way to write about and explain my "hiatus time." That is, until I recently came to the conclusion that I do not have to explain anything. I do not owe any explanations to the universe. This is my blog for goodness sake!

So here I am. Back. For now.

My life is very different these days, but that's probably a good thing...

I am presently enrolled in a meditation course. It is a "MBSR" (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) program based very closely on the program developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn(just google him if you're really that interested). It's good, I guess. I'm not sure that I really "get it" yet, but I am faithfully doing my homework which so far consists of an hour-long daily mediation practice (with accompanying Guided Imagery CD's - thank goodness!)

I also just started a new job last week. I cannot seem to make this statement (either privately, publicly, outwardly or inwardly) without attaching the following statement: "It's not My Next Great Career Move, but it's good for now."

The job is in a lovely little bookstore that specialises in selling books on alternative health & spirituality, and healing, as well as gift-y type products such as cards and journals, gemstones and crystals, jewellery, essential oils, etc.

As I happen to currently find myself at a bit of a "crossroads", or period of change, (Or Whatever), I think it shall be a perfect job to help me bring stability and routine to my life (as well as a very minimal amount of income - but something is better than nothing, right?)

Anyhow, my big goal right now is to LIVE life and not be defined by what I do.

I'm starting to really focus on enjoying simple things: Taking a walk on a nice day. A good meal. A good movie. Good company...

I am planning on learning to knit. I am really looking forward to this.

Presently I am in Oakville (where I have been since Saturday night, but I have to head back to Toronto this afternoon/evening because I have to work tomorrow), I have been enjoying a little visit with Holly & Paul (Robin's parents). I've actually spent quite a bit of time here over the past few months; it's a good, safe, supportive place for me, and I hope to keep my visits here regular over the next few months.

It was my birthday on Friday. I tend not to make a big deal of this occasion, and it wasn't a big deal, but it was lovely. (Perhaps more reflection on birthdays will come later this week...)

Holly and Paul bought me my (icredibly generous) birthday gift early and gave it to me when I spent about a week with them around Thanksgiving in early October, when Robin was here. They bought me a digital camera. Here are a few shots from the lovely, lovely time that I got to spend with them and Robin while she was here:


Robin and I immediately after jumping in to the freezing cold lake at her uncle's cottage near Kingston, on Thanksgiving weekend. This mini "polar bear swim" (or as it's been more aptly named by Robin's Aunt Janet - The Turkey Splash) was the brilliant idea of Rob's cousin Lindsay, who conveniently forgot to bring her bathing suit.


To be honest, I probably wouldn't have pursued this ridiculous notion of jumping into freezing cold water on Thanksgiving weekend, if Robin hadn't been so intent on it. But I'm glad we did it. It was fun. And it was especially lovely to spend that whole week at the beginning of October with Robin and her parents... Very, very lovely...

Soooooo...
It is my intention to write more, again, on this blog, as my journey through life continues... Guess we all just have to wait and see what happens...

These Were A Few Of My Favorite Things...

Riding the subway this afternoon, my thoughts drifted... to clothes. Yes, admittedly this is where my thoughts tend to wander when I am most bored & tired (not that public transit is boring to me, there is often a lot of good people watching to be done, but today... well, I guess I am still pretty tired.) Anyone who knows me well knows that if I walk out of a movie and have my outfits picked out for the next week or so, this means the movie was B-O-R-I-N-G. (Sorry to say this but "Gladiator" comes to mind as an example of this.) Anyhow, this afternoon I was thinking about clothes. But more specifically, I was thinking about some of my favorite items... that I no longer possess. And for some very, uh, not-so-respectable(?) reasons. Boo!

First I was thinking about the excellent black jersey shrug that I purchased for a mere $11 from H&M last spring, when I really didn't have $$$ to spare on clothes, or even shampoo for that matter. Oh yes, I was broke then. But Devon was in town from H-fax and wanted to hit up H&M and when I saw this perfect, simple, little black shrug, I knew it would be a staple item in my wardrobe. Indeed, that was the best $11 that I ever spent. This shrug performed perfectly throughout the spring and summer, as I paired it with all my little black dresses (both fancy and casual). It served me and my typically hot-temperatured self equally well throughout the fall and winter, as an added little bit of warmth over my always short-sleeved shirts, that sometimes just didn't cut it when the temperature dropped, like it still does every now and then.

Alas, the perfect little black shrug was a casuality lost in New York earlier this year, the night of the FRIGID Festival Party. (Avid blog readers might recall me writing about the events of this, uh, jovial night... When I had all of the festival organisers running around every 20 minutes searching for my "lost" coat & purse. "Lost" in such covert places as hanging over the back of a chair in the centre of a room. Oh my.) Sadly, I was so into the party (and clearly not really into keeping track of my belongings) that my dear little shrug got left behind that night. And inherited by someone else, I guess. Because although I searched the lost and found the next day (for both my dignity and my shrug), nothing turned up. Woe is me.

As my thoughts wandered this afternoon to lamenting the loss of this excellent wardrobe item, I remembered my hot pink pashmina scarf. Again, anyone who knows me well these days, knows that these pashmina scarves have also become a bit of a staple in my wardrobe, at least 3 seasons of the year (summer in Toronto is a little too hot to rock any kind of scarf, if you ask me)! And this hot pink one, well, it was Hott. And also perfect. Not too dark, not too red, not too fluorescent, not too baby. Just a perfect, bright, bold, Pink. Sigh... That one was lost about a year and a half ago, on a glorious night that was my ex-boyfriend's birthday. Poor guy had me accompany him to his friend's band's secret concert in an empty warehouse or something (a concert organised to celebrate someone else's b-day - no joke) and he ended up babysitting his way too drunk (that's what happens when you have to BYOB, and you bring a mickey of vodka and end up drinking the whole thing straight because you forgot to stop at the store and buy mix!) ex-girlfriend. Oh Happy Day. While he did manage to get my stubborn self into a taxi home at the end of the night, he did not manage to send me on my way with my beloved hot pink pashmina. I guess it's understandable. I can be quite a case sometimes.

Now, not to make it seem like I get wasted and irresponsible all the time... 'Cause I really don't. I swear, I am the responsible one, often times!!! Really! But back in the day, when I really wasn't all that responsible (but c'mon, I was 17 and attending my first year of university all the way over in England!) I experienced my very first alcohol-related wardrobe loss. It was an excellent black skirt and shell/vest/top thing. Fantastic. Stylish. Classic. I miss it to this day. The short version of this story is that there was a wine tasting event at my school, I sampled a little too generously, ended up in pool of my own vomit (ooh, classy, I know!) in my bed. Still fully (though perhaps not so stylishly) clothed at this point. I don't even know what brave, angelic soul got down and dirty and dressed me in my PJ's and threw away my soiled bed linens and clothes, but I shall remain eternally grateful. Even if they did throw out one of my favorite outfits in the process. It probably would've never been the same anyhow.

But yes, these were a a few of my favorite things, and the things that I was thinking about today on the subway. I guess the moral of these stories is... "Don't drink and dress"??? Or maybe, don't drink so much you forget that you love what you're wearing??? I'm sure there's a lesson here... somewhere... But I don't have time to properly ruminate on it, I'm meeting an old friend for drinks in less than an hour, and I've got to go pick out an outfit!