It Feels Good To Be Me Right Now

As I walked home this morning, from last night's party (um, yeah... anyhow), the sun was shining brightly. I found myself longing for the sunglasses that I removed from my bag last night before I left the house, to make room for that bottle of tonic water, thinking to myself: "I don't need to bring my sunglasses, it's night." As I walked home from the bus stop this morning, breathing in the almost-intrusively fresh and crisp spring air, I let my heavy winter coat slide down off my shoulders because I was so warm...

And again, I felt the j-o-y of Spring creeping up on me...

Or maybe I'm just happy.

I suppose general happiness for the sake of life feeling good is a total possibility for me at this point... Which, I have to say, is awesome!

As I walked home this morning, with a smile on my face, I thought about how thankful I am to have so much friendship and fun and laughter and love in my life...

I had a really great weekend; On Saturday morning I took the bus out to Peterborough, so that I could rent a van and drive my friend Nikki (who's been living with her parents in Peterborough since she got back from travelling in Asia a few months ago) to Montreal, where she is moving to. So we rented the cargo van, loaded 'er up and drove to Montreal. Where we then un-loaded the van and pretty much collapsed into bed (after consuming the last of our 'road-trip red licorice' and the bottle of red wine that we wisely brought with us, of course.) Only to wake up bright and early on Sunday morning, to take a walk, consume some espresso and croissants, and then send me on my merry way, driving back to Peterborough. Where I returned the van, and proceeded to bus it back to the T-dot. Just in time to shower, and head out the door to my friend's party.

Good, good times. Very.

If it meant spending 24 hours in close quarters (think automobile and bedroom full of boxes) with this fabulous girl pictured above (no, not me, the one on the right!), you'd volunteer to drive to and from Montreal over the course of 24 hours too! I guarantee it!

Ah, for the love of fun-having...
I am thankful.

Big Moves, Big News, Intense Days...

Well, I did it. I moved. And I did it the day after the biggest snowstorm of the year, driving a cube van (aka a small TRUCK) and with the generously free labour of my very bestest friends ever!

But I'm not even sure if that is the most intense/exciting/noteworthy event of the last few days...

The last few days have definitely been jam-packed with intensity... From lovely reunions with very old friends, to packing stress, to work stress, to snowstorm stress, and moving stress (which includes but is not limited to anxiety, excitement, grief, optimism, exhaustion and the giddyness that comes beyond exhaustion)... and beyond!

But let's just start "at the beginning" (aka a mere 5 days ago) shall we?

So this is what the day looked like last Saturday morning - my moving day!

And these are pictures of the best moving team, ever!

Above: The Team (0n the load-in end of things); From L to R we have: Devon in front, Alison and Mark in the truck, Thea & Brandon. At my new place, Alison and Brandon were replaced by the amazing Johnny Hall (who can always be counted on to be there for me when I need him!) and my new roomies Laura and Louis.

Above: My Bestest Friends; Mark, Dev & Ali

Would you believe me if I told you that my move, from start to finish, took a mere 2 hours? Well, it did. Thanks to the above pictured (and some not pictured) SUPERSTARS! Sure, I got stuck a few times in the snow driving the cube van, but with what my friends like to call my "freakishly organised" packing style, and the hardest working, most generous and dedicated friends (and new roomies) a girl could wish for, it was all over in just two hours!

And did I mention that I did all this on just two hours of sleep because I stayed up until 5:30am the night before hanging out with an old friend from my Vancouver Youth Theatre days that I hadn't seen for 10 years? 'Cause yeah, that's what happened.

So, once I had returned the cube van (small TRUCK) and the lovely Devon had dropped me off back at home, I unpacked my bedding. Made my first bed in my new home. Took these photos...

My New Room!!!

First Dinner with the new roomies - they treated me to the freshest, tastiest indian food and champagne to celebrate! Yay!!! Below: Louis, Laura & Henry - LOVE!

And then, later that night, after my crazy intense move (and having had just 2 hours of sleep) I went to my long-lost friend David's band's show...

And here he is (below, with me), all growed up... after 10 years... And the totally dynamic and talented bassist of the Vancouver-based band 'Hey Ocean' - they rocked the party big time at The El Mocambo in Toronto on Saturday night!

Of course, all my super fantastic friends were too exhausted after helping me move, so none of them joined me at the Hey Ocean show on Saturday night. So I made some new, super fun (and uh, did I mention YOUNG) friends... We danced up a storm front and centre during the totally energetic and upbeat Hey Ocean show. Good times. Love, love, LOVED IT!

Below: Me and the gorgeous and fun Mor

Below: The Super Fun Girls: Piper, Catherine & Mor!

The following day, February 3rd, was the one year anniversary of my friend Emily's death. So Thea had the really lovely idea of gathering just a few of us together to honour that... I'm really glad that she did. Below: Jenn, Thea & I (Naz was taking the photo). I'll say it again: I'm really thankful that I had the opportunity to gather with other loved ones and think of Emily with love and remember her and laugh and smile and mourn...

On Monday night, Hey Ocean was playing in Hamilton. And it just so happens that my "faux cousin" (aka Holly's neice/Robin's cousin) Lindsay, goes to school there. She's a fun girl whom I figured would be up for a crazy fun adventure so I called her on Monday morning and proposed that I drive out to Hamilton, pick her up from her rehearsal at McMaster University and then take her out to see the amazing Hey Ocean at The PepperJack Cafe in dreary, awful, armpit-of-Ontario, Hamilton. She was in. It was fun. Here we are, with the fun-having:

And the last little bit of exciting news that I have to share is that I have decided that my future holds more exciting, challenging, stimulating and lucrative opportunities for me than working at a bookstore... So, today I gave my notice. As of the end of this month, I will no longer be working for practically no money, doing practically nothing. Hopefully by then some totally fantastically exciting new opportunity will have arisen for me... And if anyone out there has any great offers for me... Be in touch!

From Within The Storm

Okay, I'm trying just to keep breathing... In... And Out... In...

Okay, it's snowing here. A LOT.

And yes, I'm moving tomorrow.
And yes, I've rented a small truck that I have to drive.
And yes, I'm hoping my friends love me enough to still show up and help me move, even if it means trudging through the snow.

And yes, I still have more packing to do tonight!

And yes, I am stuck sitting here at work, in a bookstore (who goes to a friggin bookstore in the middle of a snow-storm?!?!) even though it's a Friday and I don't ususally work on Fridays, and it's the day before I move, because my boss had to fly to Winnipeg at the beginning of this week to see a sick relative.

And all I can do is stare out the window at the snow...

I am SO bored!!!

Are We THERE Yet???

Ugh, I hate this. I hate moving! Or rather, I hate the sorting, packing and living amidst the chaos of half-packed boxes that goes hand-in-hand with moving. I'm also starting to really resent my job because it's really hard to pleasantly work in a quiet little bookstore while you know that you could be being way more productive at home, actually doing something!

Okay, so I'm writing on my blog right now and not actually "doing" anything. Point taken. But, I've been up for hours - doing the usual, sorting, packing, preparing for another day of moving preparations. Today, Devon will spend the day with me. In a few minutes I will head out the door to pick up a cargo van that I've rented for a few hours from Autoshare (Yay Autoshare!) so that I can bring the couch that I am giving to Thea and her roomates to their place. I will pick up the van, then Thea, then we will meet Devon at my place, move the couch together to Thea's place and then Devon and I will spend the rest of the day doing (at least some of) the following:
- getting more boxes
- dropping off some of the many garbage bags of stuff to give away that I have already assembled
- sorting more
- packing more
And, let's be honest, whining more (that would be me whining, and Devon listening sympathetically, I hope!)

But first, dear readers, I thought I would share this little list with you... What follows is a list of what I found to be a rather entertaining representation of me, over the last year...

WHAT I FOUND ON MY NIGHTSTAND, OR THE FLOOR, NEXT TO MY BED:
The Following Books:
- "One Year Off" (The true story, told through emails, of a family with three kids who sold all their stuff, and took one year off from life to travel the world. I read about 3/4)
- "The Book of Laughter And Forgetting" by Milan Kundera (I read it, but it didn't make it back to my book shelf, apparently)
- "Hey Nostradamus" by Douglas Coupland (Also read the whole thing)
- "Watership Down" by Richard Adams (I'm almost finished it, but I keep putting it down to read other books!)
- "what matters most is how well you walk through the fire" a book of poems by Charles Bukowski
- "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron
- "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire (An AWESOME novel, for adults, the hit Broadway musical was based on this book - sooooo fantastic. My latest read. The best christmas gift I got this year. From my friend Mark)
- "The Organic Entrepreneur" by Maxine Hyndman (I'm workin' on this one...)
- "From Option to Opening: A Guide to Producing Plays Off Broadway" (Awwww, I sure meant well with this one...)
- "Best of Best Women's Erotica" (A great Xmas gift from year's past from Devon - The inscription read that if the city was my boyfriend, I needed some company at night in my own room. Heck yeah!)
- "The Places That Scare You" by Pema Chodron (Also a great book. I revisit it often)
- "Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking" (No Comment)
- "The History of Vegas" short stories by Jodi Angel (Some depressing short stories. I think I stopped reading them)
- "The Beautifully Worthless" by Ali Liebegott (Some depressing poetry. I think I also stoppped reading this)
- "Between Myself & Them" Edited by Carol Krause (A great collection of writing about disability & difference, featuring an essay by my good friend Thea)
- "The Same Woman" by Thea Lim (One of THE BEST novels written by a young canadian woman... in my biased opinion)
- "Selected Poems y e.e. cummings" (I like cummings, and Bukowski. It's good to keep 'em nearby, I think)
- "Moral Disorder" by Margaret Atwood (I liked it)
- "Girls Speak Out - A Personal Guide to Self-Esteem" (A thoughtful gift from Tracey last summer, inspired I think by my ideas about creating some new workshops for teens... A good reference)
- "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie (I borrowed this long ago from Mark, but I don't really feel like giving it back. I like keeping it close by, as a handy inspirational tool)

AND... In addition to all those books, I also have:
- My "Soul-O Theatre Workshop (Creating Your Own One Person Show)" Workbook
- my hand-held recording device
- THREE journals (not including my dream journal)
- kleenex
- 1 pen
- 1 pencil
- earplugs
- "Heat Rub" for sore muscles
- aromatherapy spray to help me sleep (doesn't really work)

I swear, it didn't look like that much!

I think this list is very representative of me... But maybe I need to think about clearing the space around my bed, and maybe I will free myself up to actually SLEEP more when in my bed... ???

The Procrastination Stops Here

The time has come for the procrastination to stop. Holly is on her way here from Oakville and she will spend the day with me, helping me to finally pack! I tried to get a head start on one area this morning but chose the wrong pile. I came across a stack of things from last winter and my tour with Tracey, which made me feel incredibly nostalgic and sad. And then I came across some stuff from the memorial for my friend Emily, who died last February.

I can't do this, I thought to myself. I just cannot face the last two years of my life right now! Feeling incredibly nostalgic, and completely weepy about departing my lovely (in some ways) home for the last two years, I decided it was time to document the process. So I whipped out my handy-dandy digital camera.

Over the last few days, I have started, little by little to begin the "sorting" and "box accumulation" part of the moving & packing process. So the photos you are about to see are NOT exactly what my apartment has looked like over the last two years, but it's close enough. I felt the need to take photographic evidence now (before the real dissassembly begins) of the living space, and life, that I created for myself over the last two years. And so...

Here is the view from my door to the outside world, looking in to my apt:

For my first year here I had this silly little table with stools as my kitchen table, then I folded the table into the wall and Guntar lent me a lovely couch that I placed here so that I could spend more relaxing and social time in the above-ground part of my place. (I returned it to him last week so as to discourage too much relaxing procrastination):

The kitchen area of my place...

And, though the view right now (in the dead of winter) isn't so picturesque, this was my favorite spot in my whole place for the years that I lived here; Standing at my kitchen sink, looking out at my backyard:

More kitchen; I loved my fridge decor...

And now, The Basement Living Space...

The view from standing inside my wee "walk-in closet":

And now, looking back towards my wee "walk-in closet" (in the far right corner):

And now, it's time to get some boxes checked off this list: