(My) Life Is A Rainbow

So here I am, perched happily amidst the cushions on the "window seat" (i.e. bay window) in our living room (playing with the camera on my computer, obviously), listening to some uplifting tunes compiled on a mixed CD for me by Devon (the best way to listen to music really - when it's specially selected for you by your best friend!!!), alternately attending to some email-related tasks and allowing my mind to wander as I gaze out the window over my shoulder...

Thinking about the kids drama classes that I've been teaching for the last 9 weeks that wrapped up this week... Feeling so bittersweetly proud of myself and my "students," and all the that fun we've had, and all that we've accomplished together over the last 9 weeks... But also a little bit weepy about having to part ways and say goodbye...

I am reminded of my classes at the community centre that I worked at when I first moved to Toronto, EIGHT YEARS AGO NOW!!! Those "kids" are teenagers now! Holy crap! Gosh, that was a special time and place in our lives... I am filled with wistful pride as I remember how devoted some of my "students" have been to me. The thought of it all just warms my heart so completely. It is so gratifying to think about being "successful" with my intentions of sharing my passion for the arts and for life with these young people. And also, I've loved them all. So, so, SO VERY MUCH. And I think that's been clear to them as well.

And now I find my mind wandering to memories of when I was a student of various children's art classes, or a young pre-teenage volunteer assisting remarkable artists in Vancouver, where I grew up... I caught myself thinking about this 'chain of role-modelling' that I seem to find myself a part of, and how remarkable and beautiful I find it to be... To realise that I am so very much who I am today because of the incredible teachers and role models that I had as a young "apprentice" in the arts world of Vancouver, and to now be able to see myself as a role model and teacher for other children, teens and youth... It is basically just a total honour to find myself as a link in this precious chain of creativity, arts appreciation and personal support!


Well, there's more mind-wandering to be done before the sun sets here at my bay window perch, and so, I shall...

It Feels Good To Be Me Right Now

As I walked home this morning, from last night's party (um, yeah... anyhow), the sun was shining brightly. I found myself longing for the sunglasses that I removed from my bag last night before I left the house, to make room for that bottle of tonic water, thinking to myself: "I don't need to bring my sunglasses, it's night." As I walked home from the bus stop this morning, breathing in the almost-intrusively fresh and crisp spring air, I let my heavy winter coat slide down off my shoulders because I was so warm...

And again, I felt the j-o-y of Spring creeping up on me...

Or maybe I'm just happy.

I suppose general happiness for the sake of life feeling good is a total possibility for me at this point... Which, I have to say, is awesome!

As I walked home this morning, with a smile on my face, I thought about how thankful I am to have so much friendship and fun and laughter and love in my life...

I had a really great weekend; On Saturday morning I took the bus out to Peterborough, so that I could rent a van and drive my friend Nikki (who's been living with her parents in Peterborough since she got back from travelling in Asia a few months ago) to Montreal, where she is moving to. So we rented the cargo van, loaded 'er up and drove to Montreal. Where we then un-loaded the van and pretty much collapsed into bed (after consuming the last of our 'road-trip red licorice' and the bottle of red wine that we wisely brought with us, of course.) Only to wake up bright and early on Sunday morning, to take a walk, consume some espresso and croissants, and then send me on my merry way, driving back to Peterborough. Where I returned the van, and proceeded to bus it back to the T-dot. Just in time to shower, and head out the door to my friend's party.

Good, good times. Very.

If it meant spending 24 hours in close quarters (think automobile and bedroom full of boxes) with this fabulous girl pictured above (no, not me, the one on the right!), you'd volunteer to drive to and from Montreal over the course of 24 hours too! I guarantee it!

Ah, for the love of fun-having...
I am thankful.

An Attitude of Grattitude

It is 6:05am and I am still nestled cozily in my bed as I write this... It's been lovely the last few days because my body seems to have finally accepted my conscious desire to return to my once natural habit of waking up early. And by that I mean that when my alarm clock goes off at 5:47am my instinct is not to leap from my bed barely conscious, hit the snooze button and then immediatelty collapse back into unconsiousness. No, this morning especially, I hit the snooze button to silence the beeping but then I lay in bed vey much awake and conscious, my mind racing somewhat with thoughts of the days both ahead of and behind me.

In a few hours I will meet up with Robin (who has been in Oakville with her parents for the last week and) who will be taking the go-train in this morning with her dad so that she and I can spend the day hangin' out in Toronto together before we meet her guy, Ethan, at the train station tonight and then all head back out to Oaky-ville together. Ethan is coming from their home in Burlington, Vermont to join us all for the weekend partly because there is a wedding reception that we are all going to attend on Saturday afternoon. A guy that Robin and I went to school with, whose family is longtime friends with Robin's family, got married in Vancouver this Fall, but his bride's family is from T.O. so they are having a reception here this Saturday.

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to the day ahead with Robin. I made a mental note to remember to use my lovely digital camera that her parents gave me a few months ago and take lots of pictures of us hanging out. And that thought got me thinking about how thankful I am...

Thankful to have that camera, because taking pictures really reminds me of and makes me feel connected to my grandma, who was taken from my life so suddenly and brutally eight years ago this month. It's hard to believe that eight years have passed since then...

I am also so thankful to have Robin and her parents in my life... I am thankful for all that they have done for me in the past, to support me and ensure my safety and success in life, but I am especially thankful for the way that my relationship with both Robin and her parents has grown and evolved; I am thankful for the deeper and more mature love, friendship and sense of family that we now share...

And as I lay in bed thinking about how grateful I am for my relationships with Robin and her family, I got to thinking about other relationships that I am thankful for...

I spent a lovely evening last night with my friend Devon, and I found myself thinking about how thankful I am for our friendship. How great it is to sit across from her, listening and speak ing so honestly and easily for hours upon hours! I am so thankful for the mutally loving, wise and supportive relationship that we have...

And speaking of (or rather, thinking of) mutually loving, wise and supportive relationships that have deepened and matured over the years... My mind then wandered to thoughts of my friend Mark, whose birthday it is this friday and with whom I had the pleasure of once again having a home-cooked (yes, he's still on the cooking kick) meal with on Monday evening. Of course I am thankful that he likes to invite me over while he experiments with new and delicious recipes, but I am especially thankful for the quality time that these get-togethers afford us; I sit on the stool at his kitchen counter, occassionally making myself useful by chopping something, and we chat as he prepares dinner, the eating of which is naturally conduscive to even more chatting. I love it.

And now, after recording all of those thoughts of gratitude that came to me as I lay in the darkness this morning, I should probably sign off and get myself up and about and ready to start my day...

So my dear readers, at whatever point during whatever day that you end up reading this, I challenge you to think of some thing(s) or people that you are thankful for.... And feel free to share your thoughts of gratitude with me via a comment here!

*NAMASTE*

Do You Realise?

Random (scattered) thoughts at the end of a very full day...

...Sometimes when you're a perfectionist, and harder on yourself than anyone else is, you can get sooooo consumed with your drive to be perfect and do everything that you end up projecting all of your own self-doubts onto others, ultimately tricking yourself into thinking that it's them that is/are demanding so much from you (when really, it's you). This never results in goodness. Actually, it just puts a whole big ball of negative energy out into the universe around you. So if you're like me in the above-mentioned "perfectionist/harder-on-yourself-than-others-are" kind of way, be aware of this... and be careful not to do it...

...There's a beautiful story that Tracey recounts in her new show (Two in the Bush! - Opens this Wednesday night - woo hoo!!!) about Joan of Arc. Apparently, when she was burned at the stake, she asked a man in the crowd to hold a cross so that she could see it, and asked him to shout out assurances of salvation so that she could hear them above the roar of the crowd and the flames. In the show, Tracey's character reminds us to make sure that when the roars of life get loud, make sure that you always have a friend to shout out assurances above the flames... I think this is my favorite part of the show. And I am thankful for those friends that I always seem to have, that shout assurances loud enough for me to hear them above the roar in my own head....

...Peace Camp starts tomorrow and Two in the Bush opens on Wednesday night - EXCITEMENT!!!

"Do you realise???
that you have the most beautiful face... we're floating in space... that happiness makes you cry... that everyone you know, some day, will die...
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realise that life goes fast, it's hard to make the good things last, you realise the sun don't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round"
- The Flaming Lips