Difficult Decisions/Dangerous(?) Confessions...

How do I reconcile the fact that I work at a restaurant that doesn't recycle because "it's too expensive" with the reality of the way I live my life? A life where I believe that the only real difference I can make in this world is by my own personal actions... Like selling my car, trying to generate only one (small, kitchen-sized) bag of garbage a week, recycling, composting, volunteering and working for organisations that aim to teach young people about peace (with themselves, the environment, their bodies, their peers, strangers, etc)... With every thing that I do, I am trying to make the most positive impact that I can make on this world, and yet... Something doesn't fit right now.

Big decisions ahead. Not just about what to do about the restaurant job (and yes, it does feel a little dangerous to be questioning the ethics of my employer on the internet)...

Like? Do I return to work this summer for the organisation that I left in January? I love this organisation, I love the people that I get to work with, and obviously I love the young people... But is there such a thing as "a time to move on"???

Sometimes I get so busy, doing the things that I love, the things that I want to be doing, and the things that I think I ought to be doing... that I wonder if I am really taking care of myself. Such an old problem for me: I can take care of everything and everyone else around me, but can I really take care of me?

I think I can. No, I know I can. And maybe all this questioning is a way of doing just that. Maybe this is just the way for me to figure out what the right next steps are. Maybe listening to how I am feeling right now is the first step to making sure that I feel differently, that I feel solid and right, in the near future.

I think it is...